Communication without words
- Kim Dijkman
- 06/10/2021
In short:
- Approach: The best moments happen when you least expect them
- Time investment: 2 hours
- Costs: none
- Resources: A piano, but this could be anything.
- Element for success: Listening to the client and seeing possibilities.
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The guidance of Jos was difficult, Frank the supervisor had tried everything. Stay with Jos's story, taking over the conversation, listening, summarizing, asking questions, and also letting go of any tools you can use while talking with Jos. He talks very confusing, he has been bothered by it for years. And if people don't feel understood, frustration comes up and sometimes anger (I think several people understand this), so this is also the case with Jos. Frank soon notices that this leads to an unclear relationship and contact with him.
An unexpected turn
One morning Frank went with Jos to the local community center. This is where Jos had his daytime activities, where people are drinking coffee and people were studying. They took a seat in the coffee corner, which was also used as a library. Because the two men didn't connect, Jos started to get frustrated. His voice raised and
anyone who was quietly reading his book could enjoy his cursing and ranting. Frank was asked to call a certain agency and he did, of course there was a long queue. Instead of Jos waiting on the couch next to Frank, he suddenly walked away and disappeared behind a curtain in a corner of the room. The room filled with the beautiful sound of Piano music. Then the moment came that someone on the other end of the line answered the phone and Jos was called, while Jos was on the phone Frank went to look behind the curtain and saw the piano.
Connected without words?
After the beautiful moment in the library, Frank and Jos once walked together at Amsterdam Central Station. Jos asked Frank if he could play something on the public piano, he didn't dare to start himself. The moment Frank starts playing you see the urge that Jos feels to also express himself by pressing the keys. He pushes Frank away and starts playing. This is the way, Frank thought, and he was able to arrange piano lessons for them together through HVO Querido. Jos had the choice, what the lesson would be about and you could tell he enjoyed this very much. Music brought an extra dimension to the contact between Jos and Frank. It brought them closer together and cleared up some of the frustrations of communicating through words. But above all it paved the way that created space for Jos to be able to express himself.
Kim Dijkman
Mooie dingen (mee)maken!